The Sailor Hat is a hat sported by certain Wassies. Sailor Wassies seem to have an innate longing for the sea, despite having zero seafaring experience (beyond being washed out in the Great Flood). Donning their sailor hats, they fancy themselves adventurous little mariners, embracing a lifestyle reminiscent of the seafarers of old.
Sailor Wassies are known for their spirited attempts to mimic the salty language of sailors, but their efforts often result in a playful, nonsensical gibberish that is as adorable as it is puzzling. When multiple Sailor Wassies come together, they form a comical crew of makeshift mariners, crafting rudimentary boats from cardboard and makeshift sails from any material they can find. While their vessels are far from seaworthy, their enthusiasm and determination are unshakable.
Most of these Wassies do not live anywhere near the sea but they are drawn to anything even resembling water, even bowls of hummus left out in the open. They'll eagerly board their fragile ships and pretend to sail across the creamy surface, often getting themselves stuck in the process. Sailor Wassies also have a peculiar fondness for pickle juice, which they consume with gusto, leading to animated scuffles and the singing of incomprehensible sea shanties in their own unique language.
In true seafaring spirit, Sailor Wassies are also regrettably prone to bouts of mutiny. Unfortunately, their limited intelligence often leads to hilarious failures as they attempt to overthrow inanimate objects they perceive as oppressive "captains."
One particularly amusing incident involved a Sailor Wassie crew staging a revolt against a stuffed parrot, which they deemed too authoritarian in its imaginary squawks. As they tried to hoist the stuffed bird up the mast of their makeshift ship, they tangled themselves in dental floss, ultimately suspending themselves alongside the parrot until the Wassies eventually died, tormented by the ongoing (imaginary) squawks of the stuffed parrot.
