Pirate Wassies are Wassies who, upon discovering and donning pirate hats, develop aspirations of becoming pirates and pillagers. These swashbuckling Wassies are as inept as any other Wassie, and their ill-fated attempts at piracy often lead to disaster, for themselves and other Wassies.
Upon finding and donning pirate hats, these Wassies quickly embrace their new personas as pirates and pillagers. Despite their enthusiasm, the Pirate Wassies' lack of skill and understanding of piracy causes their efforts to be clumsy and ineffective. Their misguided attempts at pillaging usually result in more mess and chaos than treasure.
The Pirate Wassies, in their pursuit of piracy, often attempt to pillage other Wassies' 'treasures', much to the chagrin of their peers. Their ill-conceived raids typically involve rummaging through other Wassies' belongings, creating havoc and disorder in the process. As a result, Pirate Hat Wassies tend to be unwelcome among Wassie communities.
The Pirate Wassies' love for the open seas (read: any body of liquid) inevitably leads them to cross paths with the equally delusional Sailor Wassies. Pirate Wassies frequently try to commandeer the makeshift cardboard boats of the Sailor Wassies, resulting in humorous and often fatal consequences. The fragile nature of the boats and the ineptitude of both the Pirate Hat and Sailor Wassies often cause these encounters to end up with both groups drowning in a pot of soup.
Some Pirate Wassies, in their quest to fully embody the pirate persona, attempt to cut off their own limbs and replace them with makeshift hooks or peg legs. Unfortunately, this misguided self-mutilation often leads to severe infection and subsequent death of the Wassie.
