The book of loomdart

And so it was carved in tablets of finest cheese at the top of Mount Wassie by the prophet Loomdart, that the following should be known about the wassie. And verily the cheese slabs were treasured and safeguarded but of course, like, they melted ‘cos it’s a freaking volcano. . . 

Wassies are the result of a terrible radioactive incident. Not much is known about them, only that they seem to keep multiplying and only have a short lifespan of 14 days. While initially they were treated as cool pets, people soon realised they were truly good for nothing. Foul disgusting creatures that leave a horrible stench when they’re gone.

Only those adopted as pets (so only a small number of them) have normal names. the rest are named by a system that starts with wass- so anything from wassa to wassado to wassimimi 

Someone suggested that wassie screech, I think they can make multiple sounds depending on emotion. and they can’t sustain the sound long, just in smol bursts. so a mix of maybe screeches, gurgles, and poppysmic sounds .

They’re natural habitat is the fridge but they could get lost out in the world and are too stupid to find they’re way back